http://www.loschaos.com/ Sat, 04 Sep 2010 18:35:00 -0500 FeedCreator 1.8.0-nukeFEED (http://nukeSEO.com) http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=98#98 New Maps Added:

Click Here For Download Location

CTF-DiamondSword2K9SE (A Classic - I remember many hours on this map)

CTF-Fluxion (This one looks cool.)

CTF-LavaGiantClassic2K9SE1_1 (classic . . . classic . . . classic)

CTF-Magma_Redux-final (Also a classic)


Removed:

Inner Sanctums Arena

Full Throtttle

(those 2 were blood baths) ]]> no_email@example.com (Chaos) http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=98#98 http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=97#97
A seamstress in a Dart

An insurance adjuster in an Acclaim

A construction worker in a Bobcat

A creature in a black Laguna

A theater manager in a Marquis

An astronomer in an Eclipse

An exterminator in a Beetle

A call-girl in an Escort

A spiritualist in an Aurora

A proctologist in a Probe

A proctologist in a Ram

An orator in a Civic

A country singer in a Neon

A reporter in a S'Coupe

A Good Humor man in a S'Coupe

An orchestra conductor in a Prelude

A classical musician in a Sonata

A customs inspector in a Passport

A dog trainer in a Rover

A jeweler in a Topaz

A band leader in a Tempo

A gentleman in a Gallant

A Bullfighter in a Matador

A mother-in-law in a Barracuda

An electrician in a Charger

A snake handler in a Viper

A second-story man in a Prowler

A car thief in a Jimmy

A lepidopterist in a Monarch

Barbie in a Malibu

Sgt. Preston in a Yukon

Queen Elizabeth in a Regal

Prince Rainier in a Monaco

Princess Stephanie in a Riviera

Prince Charles in a Regency

Joan Collins in a Dynasty

(Hillary Clinton in a Park Avenue?)

Jim Garner in a Maverick

Kato in a green Hornet

Nixon in a Checker

Kissinger in a Diplomat

Speedy Gonzales in a Fiesta

Wile E. Coyote in a Road Runner

Elmer Fudd in a Wabbit

Miss Muffet in a Spyder

Charles Lindberg in an Intrepid

Christopher Columbus in a Voyager

Blackbeard in a Corsair

Russell Means in a Dakota

Tonto in a Cherokee

Dorothy in a Syclone

Benjamin Franklin in a Lightning

Carl Sagan in a Nova

Bruce Lee in a Sidekick

Oscar De la Hoya in a Challenger

John Mellencamp in a Cougar

Wonder Woman in a gold Lariat

Edmund Halley in a Comet

Public-TV yoga instructor Lillias in a Lotus

Rosie O'Donnel and Charlton Heston in a Colt

Yassir Arafat and Menahim Begin in an Accord

Nostradamus and Jeanne Dixon in a Futura]]> no_email@example.com (Chaos) http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=97#97 http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=95#95
...While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?"

After a look of complete confusion she answered, "Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."


...I was caring for a woman in the hospital from Kentucky and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied.

I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."


]]> no_email@example.com (Chaos) http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=95#95 http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=86#86
The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask.

The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed it and put it away.

“Aren’t you going to have a drink yourself?” asked the doctor.

“Sure, after the police leave,” replied the attorney.]]> no_email@example.com (Chaos) http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=86#86 http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=83#83
Dear _________________ :

Thank you for leaving one [1] tooth under your pillow last night.

While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of
lost or stolen children's teeth, we were unable to process your
request for the following reason(s) indicated below:

( ) the tooth could not be found

( ) it was not a human tooth

( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny

( ) we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odor

( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash

( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you

( ) the tooth fairy does not process fingernails

( ) your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy for
appropriate action

( ) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the tooth
fairy

( ) you are age 12 or older at the time your request was received

( ) the tooth is still in your mouth

( ) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time of
our visit

( ) no night light was on at the time of our visit

( ) the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not satisfactory, or
were missing

( ) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:
[ ] string
[ ] pliers
[ ] gunpowder
[ ] hammer marks
[ ] chisel
[ ] part of skull attached to tooth
[ ] no dental care

( ) other:

Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in the
future.

Sincerely, The Tooth Fairy]]> no_email@example.com (Chaos) http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=83#83 http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=82#82
I plan to change that and get better on updating the map content on the server!

Today I added the following maps:

UT3 CTF:

ctf-cbp3-krodan
ctf-cbp3-theexcavation
ctf-eurus
ctf-optiextract
ut3 ctf-strand

vCTF:

vctf-apex
vctf-gasometer
vctftraincrossing

Get in the Game!

]]> no_email@example.com (Chaos) http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=82#82 http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=81#81 In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you
are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day.
During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when
lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for
wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one
should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going
alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front
desk.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office
between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is
the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the
chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
monastary: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian
and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except
Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the
corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope
for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red
beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck
let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend
courageous, efficient self-service.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush
we will execute customers in strict rotation.

Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition
of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were
executed over the past two years.

In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking
shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel
porter.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on
our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for
instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are
married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests
of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be
used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extrcted by the
latest Methodists.

A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has
been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the
afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city
tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on
your own ass?

On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to
right.

In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from
their own skin.

On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work
throughout its useful life.

Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.

In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.

In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner
if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them
in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the
USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have
children in the bar.

At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any
suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other
diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water
served here.

In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find
they are best in the long run.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air
conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in
your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot
heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first,
but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking.
- Here speeching American.]]> no_email@example.com (Chaos) http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=81#81 http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=80#80
Aristotle: To fulfill its nature on the other side.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a
chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road,
but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend
with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely
chicken's dominion maintained.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
pancreas.

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered
within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each
interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be
discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll
find out.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take.

Douglas Adams: Forty-two.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its
sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that
it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be
of its own free will.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical
juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences
into being.

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to
itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into
the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being
which
caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road
crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented
avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement
formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable
occurence.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the
trees.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Epicurus: For fun.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken
was on, but it was moving very fast.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the
(censored) reason.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

Ronald Reagan: Well,...................

John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the
transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself
of the opportunity.

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow
out of life.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Mishima: For the beauty of it. The chicken's extension of its
sinuous legs sent shivers of a dark despair into the souls not only of
the silently watching hens but also the roosters, who felt a sudden
sexual desire for their exquisite comrade. The dark courage of the
chicken was as beautiful as drops of dew upon jade at midnight, struck
by a partial moon, its light filtered through clouds. One of the
deeply aroused roosters could stand the intensity of the moment no
more and bit off the head of the beautiful, courageous chicken-hero,
whose wine blood was deliciously drunken by the road, and he died.

Johnny Cochran: The chicken didn't cross the road. Some
chicken-hating, genocidal, lying public official moved the road right
under the chicken's feet while he was practicing his golf swing and
thinking about his family.

Camus: The chicken's mother had just died. But this did not really
upset him, as any number of witnesses can attest. In fact, he
crossed just because the sun got in his eyes.

John Sununu (again): I would argue that the chicken never crossed the
road at all. That it is a story concocted by the Clinton
Administration to distract attention from their failed agriculture
policy. Where is the evidence that the chicken crossed the road?
Where, Michael?

Michael Kinsley: Oh, John, come on! Everybody knows the chicken
crossed the road. What evidence do you need? It's obvious that the
chicken crossed the road. Your whole argument is just a smoke and
mirror tactic to distract us from the fact that most chickens polled
now back the Democratic Party. You ought to be ashamed of yourself,
John.

Siskel: I don't know why it crossed the road, but I loved it. Thumbs
up!

Ebert: I disagree. The whole thing left the audience wondering; the
chicken's crossing the road was never clearly explained and the
chicken didn't emote very well. It couldn't even speak English!
Thumbs down.

Michael Kinsley: But you both agree it did cross the road, right?
See, John. I'm right as usual.]]> no_email@example.com (Chaos) http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=80#80 http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=79#79 one dirt bag on a vacuum. . . .

]]> no_email@example.com (Chaos) http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=79#79 http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=75#75


Stop on by and say hi!

http://www.hqcoa.com/index.php]]> no_email@example.com (Chaos) http://www.loschaos.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=75#75